After becoming a mother, a new gamut of responsibilities gets added to your life. There are a lot of changes, which happens to you, both physically and mentally. And, you need to cope up with them as best as you can. When you have new challenges, you also get new advices and suggestions. Some we choose to keep and some we ignore. But, motherhood is like a journey, where there are milestones for both you and your child. While, your child competes with other children to succeed, you also start a rat race of competition with fellow moms.
Every Mother Is Unique, But Still We Compare Ourselves To Each Other Because:
- We think we are not doing things as well as them
- Other moms portray themselves as superior
- Other people compare us to other moms
- Your method of motherhood is different from other moms you know
In all of the above circumstances, a mother tries to do the best within her limits, but has to face criticism, either from self or others. There are a few things that you need to remember before there is any scope of comparison.
Each One Has Their Own Resources And Situations To Deal With.
You need to stop the comparison because we are doing our best with the resources we have. The other person might be in a different situation or might have more or less resources at their disposal. Someone else’s process might not be the right choice in your situation.
Comparison Takes Away Your Self-Confidence.
When you are comparing, you start doubting yourself, which brings down your self-confidence and makes you feel inferior to someone. You become weak and tend to make more mistakes.
Comparison Can Be Fatal.
Comparing yourself to others can become fatal, when you try to copy someone and fail. You are occupied in watching and believing in what others are doing. Sometimes, this can make others take advantage of you or manipulate you.
If You Compare, It Can Create New Problems.
When you compare yourself and try to imitate someone else’s parenthood style, it can mess up your own life. It might not necessarily solve your problem, rather create new ones. You need to assess the pros and cons, before you decide what you are doing is wrong, while what someone else is doing is right.
You Also Pull Others In The Game Of Comparison.
When you start comparing yourself to others, you also involve others in this. Probably, you become too harsh or competitive with your child, who might not be ready for it. You tend to pull others around you into the same maze, while they are not willing to.
Well, wanting to sharpen your skills by learning from others is a good thing, it can help you get better, but comparing yourself to others in every aspect only makes it more stressful. You tend to overdo things or mess up even what you were doing right.
It is fine to compare up to the point, where you know you can learn something good from the other person or some best practices, but blindly following and copying someone else isn’t the idea. So, compare yourself to get better, but keep the bitterness away.