Your baby bump has just started showing and there is a downpour of suggestions and recommendations from aunts, grannies, neighbours, in laws and friends. Despite the fact that they might only mean to help you out, they may seem to annoy you to no end. If you end up snapping back at them, you would only hear the usual, “But I just wanted to help”. How to deal with ‘well-intentioned’ advice from anyone to everyone who has an opinion to give? Here’s how:
Consider The Equation:
This person dropping in a piece of advice everyday about how should drink a glass of milk twice a day to prepare your breasts for breastfeeding, might be your husband’s grandmother. Are you sure you want this argument? Is it worth the hassle of getting into a verbal tiff with an eighty year old? No, it is not and the sooner you realise this, the better it is for you. Pregnancy is for you and your partner to celebrate and you could turn a deaf ear to the millions of advices than choose to pick up a hen fight. She could be your mother, your aunt, you mother-in-law or a neighbour; as easy it is to lose your cool, resist an argument for the sake of your mental peace. You could simply blame it on the doctor and say how he has asked you not to and that is a very successful way to shut people up.
Conventional Vs. Contemporary:
Pregnancy has evolved over time to signify much more than just procreation but not everybody around knows that and they might recommend waiting till the first trimester1 gets over to make pregnancy announcements. If your mother-in-law suggests this, she is no evil. She is after concerned about the well-being of you and your baby. You could try sitting down and having a little chat with her about how this is an emotion you would love to share with the world. Instead of snapping back, turn to explanations.
There will always be the, “But we used to do it this way” for everything that is baby-related. As annoying as this could be, you can just listen to it, smile and walk away. Listening does no harm and you can always do things your way later on.
Think Before You Leap:
Not all unsolicited advice is silly or irrelevant. If the advisor has a significant role to play in your life, you could actually try taking the advice and putting it to work, if it is not too much to ask for. You can always refer to your doctor before trying new things and make the advisor feel respected, if not anything else.
You and your partner would need to practice listening to and dealing with advice from random strangers too. Your reaction might depend on a number of things. You might choose to smile and thank the advisor and you can also be rude and unforgiving. Remembering that the final call is always yours helps in picking your battles.