As a mother, your love for your child is pure and unconditional, which nothing or no one can replace. But, here we are not talking about the quality of love, rather the quantity of love. Is there something like ‘too much of mother’s love’? Well, mothers will say no, but experts like novelist and writer Fay Weldon feels that ‘over-bonding’ is not good for us. Loving your child is okay, but being overprotective out of of love isn’t good for them in the long run.
The idea of good parenting is to raise confident, competent and independent individuals. It is not about insulating, pampering/spoiling them or always guarding your child. Yes, you have to care for and protect them, but you also have to let them take risks and decisions, make mistakes and learn.
Some Of The Reasons, Why Too Much Of Love Can Be A Wrong Thing Are As Follows:
- It can spoil them and they start taking things for granted. If you get them everything they want out of love, they will never know how to earn it.
- It prevents them from taking risks. You are always there to rescue them, this way they do not learn from their mistakes.
- If you are doing their homework out of love, it might help them avoid punishment, but it harms them in the long run. They do not learn the concepts and might not fare well in assessments.
- If you are not letting them do simple chores that they are supposed to, they become highly dependent on you and will never be able to do things on their own.
- If you are only exhibiting emotions like happiness, love and joy in front of your kids, then they will not be able to face sadness or failure in their lives. They will only know your love and do things their own way. You also need to be strict with them to impart proper values.
- Sometimes, too much attachment to your child makes it difficult to let them go. Your pain becomes too acute when they move out or becomes close to someone else. You might also experience an emotional trauma.
- You become so involved in your child that you forget about the life of your own. Your sense of self pride or self esteem gets related to their accomplishments. You start ignoring yourself.
We have heard about ‘pushover parenting’ or ‘helicopter parenting’, which only makes things worse. According to a past survey, 91% of parents of kids under the age of 8 years felt that they are less strict than when they were growing up and 80% felt that it is not a good thing. Moreover, 60% of the parents of teenagers feel that they are somewhat spoilt.
As a mother, you will never stop loving your child, but you also want to see him/her successful and prosper in life. For that, you need to let go of them at some point to let them live their own dreams. Being overly protective makes them rely on you all the time and this way they lose their opportunity to learn. So, love them as much as you OUGHT to, but don’t spoil them by loving as much as you CAN.