We all try to give our best at whatever job we’re performing. Sometimes, we succeed, and sometimes we fail. But, dealing with the pain of failure is not always as hard as dealing with the criticism after that. But, have you ever thought of why people would judge and criticize us?
Well, this is a basic human trait and we all have judged others at some point of our lives. Among all other roles we take up, the criticism we face as parents has an acute impact on our mental health. We all go through similar phases of parenthood, but whenever we get a chance, we start judging other parents, forgetting the fact that we may be no better.
Mothers face the most criticism while raising children. It can be from family members, friends, spouse or even fellow moms. Once we cross a stage in parenting, we feel we have done our best and now it’s time to judge and advice others on what they are doing. But, we forget that every child, every mother and every situation is different. It depends on current circumstances and to a certain extent on one’s personal ability.
When we are criticized as a mother, we feel pain and start doubting ourselves. We become stressed and try to copy others, which is not necessarily the best way.
Here Are 6 Simple Ways To Deal With Criticism From Other Moms And Enjoy A Healthy Parenthood.
First of all, you need to calm down. If the criticism is un-called for and is stressing you out, just calm down and control your emotions. This way, you will be able to figure out if you are missing some important point or a useful advice.
Differentiate Between Criticism And Curiosity:
Sometimes, we feel that whatever the other person is saying is criticism, but it can be curiosity as well. Other moms just want to know what you’re doing or how you’re doing it, but their tone may seem like criticism to you.
Tell Them You Are Not Interested:
Most of the times, criticism is about boasting how ‘they’ did it better. However, if you feel, you are not able to take it after a point, just draw the line and tell them how you feel. You can say, ‘I really don’t see the point of telling me this’ or ‘I really like you, but if you keep telling me this every time, then it could get difficult’ and so on.
Divert The Conversation:
This is least confrontational. It’s a subtle way of letting them know you’re not interested. When other moms start a parenting topic and you feel you are being or will be criticized, just change the topic. You can say like ‘Oh really, did you see that dress X wore that day’ or something like this.
Agree, But Do Your Way:
of dealing with criticism. You can agree with them, but at the back of your mind you know what is best for you and your child. Just show them that you bought their point and stop the conversation on this topic abruptly.
Ignore And Don’t Listen:
Finally, this is the most effective way. Just listen to everything, pretend you understood and simply ignore. You probably need not respond also. The person gets the cue and after repeated ignorance will probably stop criticizing you altogether. This way you wouldn’t directly be offending the person.
As a mother, you know what is best for your child. So, you can take advice, but not necessarily abide by them. Constructive criticism can be helpful, but never give in to wrong and false criticism as this will affect your relationship with your child. You know what to filter out from the noise, so do that and forget about the rest.