Every child feels anxious about a new sibling and this feeling is intensified when it comes to a stepchild. Although they do look forward to another baby and being labeled as the big brother or big sister, it is a concern that is deep-seated in step children regarding the complete undivided attention that they were used to before this pregnancy. How will you introduce them to this news? How will you plan this journey with them diplomatically so that they neither feel left out nor feel that the baby preps are all what matters? How will this transition affect them? Know all about it here:
Telling Your Stepchild That You Are Pregnant
If you are planning a pregnancy and if you feel you have a child who is matured enough to understand the concept, then you could start talking to him/her about a new baby. This will prepare the child mentally and allow you to cherish the news of pregnancy together. If you have a younger stepchild, you could wait till your second trimester when the baby bump is visible so that they can relate to it as the baby and the entire experience is more real to them. It is normal for him/her to harbor feelings of resentment for the baby and it is your responsibility to convey that he/she will always be your first child.
Including Your Stepchildren In The Pregnancy
After conveying the news, try and include the child into your pregnancy by going out for newborn shopping with him/her, letting him decorate the walls of the nursery, asking him/her for ideas to set up the room for the baby, sitting down for craft projects together that will also include a welcome card for the new baby.
You can also take along your stepchild for the ultrasound examinations1 where he/she will get to see the baby and realize that it is true and not a story that you might be making up.
Expect Questions; A Lot Of Them!
You can expect truckloads of questions from your stepchild and that is normal. Some of the questions that you can expect are:
- Will you love me as much as you do now?
- Will I have to share everything with the new baby?
- Is she going to sleep with you?
- Will you pay attention to me when I need you?
Know What To Say And Do
While making your stepchild a part of this pregnancy, remember not to overdo it. Bringing references of the baby into everything that you do or say will only worsen the situation if the child has been feeling insecure already. Try to do other things that do not involve the bay like going to the park, reading together, going for short trips together so that he/she never feels left out.
Whenever you are communicating with your stepchild, always remember to convey the practical issues. Tell them that a new baby will need a lot of time, they will need more love and more attention but that does not mean that he/she will not be loved. Ask them about their feelings, let them speak fearlessly and never ever ignore the importance of communication.