Understanding The Teenage Years Of Increasing Responsibility And Independence

Some people say that the ‘terrible two’ is like un-manageable for parents, but this perception changes, when kids enter their teen. Perhaps, handling teenagers is the most difficult and challenging task for parents. Since, teenagers are no longer kids and have the right and ability to take decisions; it becomes increasingly a challenging task for parents to control them. Here, it becomes a conflict between two adults, rather than an adult and a kid.

Though, many of us think that being a teenager is only about demands, ignorance, callousness and arrogance, we forget, as parents, that we had also passed a similar phase. We tend to compare ourselves with our teenage children. But, the truth is teenagers also understand that they are in a phase of life, which brings in increased responsibility and freedom for them, and they need to handle it carefully.

During these years of growing up, parent-teenager conflicts are quite common and inevitable, because there is a difference in perspective and outlook. Both of them tend to look at a problem and its solution differently. Some of the common areas of conflict are:

  • Choice of friends
  • Basic responsibilities in the house
  • Dating
  • Parties and Night-outs
  • Choice of dressing or accessories
  • Approach to a problem
  • And sometimes, the ideologies of life

There can be many more simple and complex situations, where both of them have their justified standpoint. While teenagers argue about new thought-process and changes, parents like to stress on experience and learning.

Some Of The Golden Rules To Manage Teenagers And Teach Them Between Right And Wrong Has Been Discussed Below:

Listen To Them:

Do not reject their arguments outrightly. Listen to their part of the story too. Sometimes, they can also come up with amazing solutions, which you could have never figured out. Listening helps to understand them better and communication helps to fill up the gap.

Give Them Responsibility:

You tend to think that they will not be able to handle responsibilities as you think they are still kids. But, you need to assign responsibilities and see how they fare. You need to trust them, and give them an opportunity.

Empower Them To Take Decisions:

Give them a chance to take decisions on important matters. You are always there to rectify, but if you do not give them a chance now, they might miserably fail in the future, when you are not there. This also helps them to learn from their mistakes and take the right decisions ahead in life.

Correct Politely:

When you are trying to control a teenager, do not get aggressive. This only makes them more stubborn. Rather, handle them amicably, make them understand their mistakes in a friendly way. This way they are calm when you tell them about a problem or where they went wrong.


This is also very important. If you want respect and good behaviour from them, you need to give them that too. So, applaud and appreciate their good deeds, which makes them feel important. This also helps to boost their self-confidence and enthusiasm to do the right things.

Teenagers, on the brink of adolescence and adulthood want to take up responsibility and utilize their freedom. But, sometimes they are misguided or they go on the wrong path for easy success. However, if channelized properly, their energy and confidence can be out to good use to make them responsible and free to make the right choices in life.