“I wish there was a way to go back in time and change the future” A miscarriage often brings along these thoughts and a host of other feelings that are almost indescribable for a woman to convey to even the dearest people in her life. A pregnancy is like living each day with growing expectations of parenthood and reliving your own childhood through your baby. A miscarriage seemingly puts an end to the wonderful dreams you might have dream for your child to be. As depressing and overwhelming it could get, the best thing to remember in a phase like this is that nothing is forever and there is every possibility that you will have a healthy baby in your arms sooner than you thought.
How To Cope With The Feelings?
As if your pregnancy hormones weren’t enough to make you emotionally unstable, the after thoughts that cloud your mind can be very difficult to deal with. Here are a few common things to expect and a few simple ways to deal with them:
Natural and overwhelming, the grief for your loss can take you to a point of no-return. Accepting your loss and trusting your doctor to help you heal physically and mentally is important. If you feel unusually depressed and simply cannot handle the grief despite all your efforts, try meeting a counsellor. Depression1 is for real.
Even if you have had nothing to do with the miscarriage it is natural to feel guilty. You might wonder if you did not care enough for your baby, but it’s most unlikely that any of your acts might have triggered the miscarriage.
A previous history of miscarriage/s might instilL fear regarding the next pregnancy and you might wonder if you would be able to reach full term and deliver your baby successfully. More than three quarters of women deliver healthy babies after miscarriages so don’t let this fear set in.
Talking To Your Partner
This is very important for both the people who were expecting a baby. It surely is physically draining on your part to cope with this but your partner is equally upset and talking it out with him will help relieve half your problems. If need be, give in to the grief together and cry it out. A good cry helps immensely. Convey what you feel and plan accordingly. If both of you want a baby right away, your doctor will guide you on this and if you two do not want to plan any time soon, do consider safe methods of contraception.
Your doctor will assist you in recovering completely from the miscarriage and will also advise you to wait a couple of months and get a few tests done before conceiving again. Your body will need to settle into your regular cycles before the next conception and till then you can adopt safe contraception. You can also seek help from a midwife to survive this phase of bereavement.
You can also join similar support groups online to talk to mothers who have had miscarriages and are now raising healthy children. Have faith in yourself, your body, your partner and your doctor to feel better very soon.